The Fall that Cost the Tooth?

My twin son, Asher, fell from his bicycle while riding on it last Friday. His gums near his two front teeth was bleeding profusely for a moment after the fall. One of the front teeth was a little "chiseled" off.

It was the first fall of his life and he cried like as if a huge trauma had happened. Nevertheless, the fall had indeed caused some trauma on his two front teeth - there were "huge" movement of about 2mm, like those teeth that are falling.

We decided to bring him to the dentist. Asher's first reaction was fear - he feared the dentist might extract his teeth. Oh mine, what a reaction from a near 4-year-old kid! I had to calm him down that the dentist's job is not only extraction but also some "construction" work like "Bob the Builder". Asher finally relents.

The dentist took an X-ray of his teeth and said that the teeth is very likely broken and suggested extracting both tooth. Asher may then need a denture for that two tooth! The mommy became reluctant at this option this time around and asked if the dentist could "cement" the trauma teeth and hoped that the tissues around the teeth would grow stronger in "stabilising" the teeth later on.

The dentist somehow obliged but said Asher needs to come back for a review a month later. He thinks the tooth still need to be extracted. I was actually thinking why is this dentist so adamant in getting my young son's teeth extracted?

So anyway, I found a website useful relating to management of dental trauma here. I hope Asher's teeth do not need the extraction as that dentist suggested.

Flying at the Singapore Flyer

The Singapore Flyer is the latest tourist attraction here and we brought our twins and their grandparents for a ride last week. As the 'capsule' of the wheelbarrow moved higher, we got a breathtaking view of Singapore city; might have been better in the night with the city lights up but the day view is equally scenic. Thankfully it was a clear day and we managed to take some "postcards" shots of the city view.

My twins, Gwyneth & Asher, are definitely ecstatic about the 'excursion' and both were running round and round in the room size capsule while it lifted higher. Look at their pose and you knew what I meant!
In fact, after the ride, the twins got some "dogs" balloons and watched a magic show. I would say to the kids, that's already a lot of fun.

My First Mother's Day Gift

I received my first mother's day gift last week - a card made by my three-and-a-half-year-old twins each! The twins' preschool had taught them how to make the cards. My girl, Gwyneth, made a green card & her twin brother, Asher, made a red one. On the cards, they put on some decos with Chinese words typed on it,"I love mommy! Happy Mother's Day".
I was very touch by this little gesture, though it is not something expensive. They hugged and kissed me when they passed the cards to me. It was such a terrific moment! I have never dreamt of that when I wanted to be a mommy.

My twins:"We are husband and wife"

My husband and I burst into hilarious laughter earlier this week when my twins claimed strongly that they are husband and wife. They were apparently trying to "emulate" what we had told them about our relationship.

"Both of you are brother and sister", we said.

"No! We are husband and wife!",they both said simultaneously. Despite several other attempts to explain the different kind of relationships, they had chosen to ignore what we had said.

It is kind of interesting here because in some ancient Chinese beliefs, they believed that twins of different sex are reincarnation of husband and wife in their past life. That's if you also believe in reincarnation. I began to wonder if that's true for my twins........though it sounded silly. *smile*

In any way, we decided to let this little "husband and wife" dialogue rest. Most likely, it is just one of those young kids' interesting dialogue or small talks that tickle your life.

The Dreadful Hand-Foot-Mouth Disease

There is an outbreak of Hand-Foot-Mouth Disease (HFMD) recently at my twins childcare centre. 5 cases were reported in the last two weeks. And it seems that country wide Singapore had reported about over 700 cases of HFMD last month, mainly infected by pre-schoolers and young kids under the age of five. It is definitely a viral season.

Am I afraid? Certainly. Though my twins had unluckily contacted HFMD last September, they are not immune to the next infection.

What's so terrible about it?

The young children will usually have the following symptoms :

• mouth ulcers,
• Rashes (flat or raised red spots, some with blisters) on their palms, soles or buttocks;
• maybe some fever for 2-3 days, sore throat and runny noses.
• Vomiting and diarrhoea
• Poor appetite (mainly due to mouth ulcers)
• Tiredness and weakness

There is no treatment for HFMD, except medications to relieve symptoms which takes about 10 days to retreat. And in severe cases, if the young children are infected with a enterovirus-71(EV71) strains, it can cause neurological diseases like encephalitis and meningitis.

I remembered about 7 deaths of young pre-schoolers reported in Singapore over the peak virus outbreak of the HFMD EV71 in year 2000 and 2001. The island wide childcare centres had to be shut down for two weeks to stop the strain of virus from spreading. And parents at that time were more than happy to keep their children at home.

Last September, I was cursing and swearing at the odd chances of my twins getting HFMD though it was the milder coxsackie virus (CA16). Apparently, HFMD never sparred anyone, even adults could get it.

At that time, my twin girl, Gwyneth got HFMD first, but I did not notice any symptoms except her poor appetite; which I mistakenly thought it was due to her picky eating habit. Then her childcare teacher called to inform me that Gwyneth had a fever and she discovered some light red spots on her hands on the second day. That was when I started to find several mouth ulcers deep in her throat which were not easily visible unless you shine a torchlight in it.

I actually refused to believe Gwyneth got HFMD until the paediatrician confirmed the diagnosis. By then, on the third day, my twin boy, Asher was also infected with HFMD due to his supposedly contact with contaminated articles by Gwyneth; not surprisingly for twins with such close relationship.

My twins were not allowed to attend pre-school for at least 10 days until all symptoms are cleared. The most difficult part was the kids' diet, they basically did not feel like eating anything due to the pain coming from the ulcers. And I certainly do not wish to go through the same cycle again. God Bless.

Sharing Jennifer Lopez Twins Joy!

Seems like twins is the latest fashion statement. Jennifer Lopez is on the latest People Magazine cover with her twins, Max and Emme. Her twins boy and girl were born last month on 22 February.
I share Jennifer's twins joys when my twins, Asher and Gwyneth was born on 12 October 2004. It is a indescribable feeling but it is marvellous. You felt incredibly blessed with a girl and a boy born to you at the same time. See Lopez's tired eyes and glowing face and you would probably understand what I meant.

Amazingly, Jennifer Lopez is not the only celebrity having twins. Angelina Jolie is pregnant with twins now; Marcia Cross from "Desperate Housewife" is also happily blessed with her currently 13 month old twins girls. Even Dora The Explorer, one of my twins' favourite TV show, had caught up with the twins' fashion with a twins brother and sister!

Teaching my kids to be offensive to School Bullies

The last time I wrote about my twins being bullied in preschool, a website "Coffee Grounds", primarily discussing about school bullies, picked up my story to relate to his readers. I find that interesting as finally some parents congregate to share and hopefully seek some practical solutions in a common issue that they faced with their young kids.

Perhaps as a first time parent, it amazes me that school bullying could occur at such a young age (my twins were only about three years old when the incident happened). At that time, I was thinking hard if my parenting skills could have gone "hay wired" in anyway? Maybe as parents, we could have entrenched such a strong mindset of good behaviour in our kids that when school bullying occurs, the kids did not know how to deal or react to it.

So recently, my husband and I decided to teach our twins to be on the mildly offensive side to their school bullies should any incident happen again.

"If Jarren beat you again, tell him to stop it, and quickly tell your teacher about it." We role play in front of them a few times. I noticed that my twin son brightened up immediately as if he was armed with a "new weapon". We got both twins to role play with us until they are both confident about saying,"Stop it, stop beating me .....I'll go and tell Teacher Michelle now...".

A week after the role play, my twin son told me cheerfully that he had fend off one of his friend who tried to beat him. I praised him for being brave. He definitely feels more confident in preschool now. It is a stark contrast in comparison to his worried face every morning when I brought him to preschool previously.

Are kids having fun?

In our daily and busy life, we often sent our kids to the childcare centre early in the morning before we went to work and brought them home after work in the evening. The kids followed a routine almost daily for 5 days.

Sometimes, they would ask,"why do I have to go to a childcare, why do I have to take a nap in school, why do you have to work?". These are questions that are easy but also difficult to answer. In this "cat eats dog" society coupled with rising inflation, a dual income in a family is almost ascertain to ensure some quality of life. So talking about kids having fun? Are they? Perhaps on the weekend only where you would bring them to the zoo, parks, excursion for some fun. You can see the delighted faces smiling at you for the whole day.

But I pitied the new generation of preschoolers or young kids. Before they joined the first year of primary school, they have got to recognise words, understand simple arithmetic and science. They need to familiarise with all these to be in the "norm" group and not in the "outstanding" group of students. So some preschoolers' weekends are spent in phonics, brain stimulation, science and language enrichment classes, just to prepare them for a good head start in their life. And these enrichment schools usually emphasize 'learn through play'.

During our generation, we only needed to know the letters of the alphabet and recognising the numbers, who cared about addition, subtraction in arithmetic or spelling of words in English?

So are the kids today having fun? I wonder?

Can happiness be inherited?

Yesterday, I read a very interesting news article on the topic of happiness.

It is discussing about a latest study of nearly 1,000 pairs of identical and non-identical twins in which they found that genes control half the personality traits that make people happy while factors such as relationships, health and careers are responsible for the rest of our well-being.

So it seems like if we inherited the "happy" genes, we may tend to be a happier person. But what if we inherited the "sad" genes? Perhaps then we should "breed happiness thoughts" to these people since young? So that they could have a stronger inner emotional support later in life?

I was intrigued by these thoughts as I observed some difference in the emotional state of my fraternal twins. By the way, what this new study also showed was that the identical twins in a family were very similar in personality and in well-being, and by contrast, the fraternal twins were only around half as similar. I found that strangely true in my fraternal twins.

My twin girl, Gwyneth, tends to be happier and is always in a cheery mood. On the other hand, my twin boy, Asher, tends to be more worried and needs more assurance.

And it looks like this study has given parents a new task of "moulding" the other half of the children's happiness regardless if they inherited the "happy" or "sad" genes. Perhaps more so in the child who inherited the "sad" genes?

Read article:
"Happiness can be inherited, research finds".

Comic Strip on Preschool Children

Although the comic is about a five year old boy who has a blog where he shares his life and thoughts to the world, the scenario portrayed here actually happened to my three and a half year old boy who is in preschool.

I totally had a good laugh, it's really what happened to my kid who sometimes find excuses not to go to school!

School Bullies in Preschool?

Think that school bullying will never happen to preschoolers?

My twin son just told me last night before he slept,"Mommy, Jarren used a duster to hit on my head.....and also on Gwyneth (his twin sister)." He was also showing the action of the duster hitting his forehead concurrently.

I asked him immediately what his reaction was. He said he had told his teacher and Jarren, his preschool friend, got a "scolding". I commended that he did the right thing and should inform the teacher should such incidents happen again.

In anyway, this is not the first incident since the twins joined the preschool. End of last year, both of them were beaten (on the chest and face) by a bigger size boy in their class, though they were not physically hurt. Apparently, another boy in that class had joined the action, thinking that it was fun. It went on for about two weeks even after my twins "complained" to the teacher and both of them started to develop a fear for school. I quickly spoke to the principal and teacher regarding the bullies "beating" incidence and my then twin toddlers' phobia about school. I think the preschool realised how serious the "bullying" was and not just toddlers or young kids messing around with gentle fight (my kids did not even fight back!). The preschool separated them into different classes this year, counselled both "bullies" and spoke to their parents about the beating incidents. That was when my twins started to re-settle into preschool life; but they remembered that incident and sometimes would still talk to me about it.

Sometimes, as a desperate mommy, I wish that my twins are the school bullies instead of being bullied; I wish that I could tell the twins that if the bullies hit you, hit them back instead of just standing there; I wish I could tell those young bullies off directly; and I also wish I could confront the parents of these bullies. But they were just desperate wishes to protect your own kids and everybody knew that they could never be deployed in the civilised world.

I suppose school bullying is what the twins got to manage in many years to come in their school life.

Terrible Twos' Comic

terrible twos The above comic strip is done by Australian cartoonist John Cook.

I thought it was really funny and look like one of the many challenges that parents faced in raising a toddler. It got me laughing......at least.....what about you?

What's so funny about Dr Seuss's books?

My twins had fallen in love with Dr Seuss's book and I don't know why? Maybe the books are silly and funny. To me, the story line might be a little nonsensical and the pictures a little wried. But as long as the kids love to read, it is what really matters.

We first read Dr Seuss's ABC:An amazing alphabet book and Hop on Pop during their toddler's years. The pictures are colourful, the words are huge and rythmed. I believe that's why they were very attracted to it and were generally able to sit through the session. But for toddlers who do not have long attention span, like my twin daughter, I would recommend that you read the books in a few session instead of one.

After repeated readings, my twins started to recognise the alphabets and soon able to read simple words! I discovered that when they took the books themselves and were reading aloud by themselves one day.

Recently, we got them another Dr Seuss's book "One fish two fish red fish blue fish". It is more of a "read it all by myself beginners book". Saying so, this 50-odd pages books still need to be read in a few sessions for my three and a half years old pre-schoolers. Currently, they are only able to read by themselves the first few pages of this new book.

Get the books :

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*Note : All books recommended here are read by my children and found worthwhile recommending.

Related post : 4 Useful Tips to get your child to read

3 Most Effective Ways of Managing Tantrums for Busy Parents

From experience and reading books on managing tantrums, I find that the 3 most effective ways or methods of managing tantrums are as follows:

• 1. Prevent or avoid it : The best way to manage tantrums is actually to prevent tantrums from happening. The key is to find out the cause or causes of your toddler/kid's tantrum. What are the factors triggering the tantrum? Is it hunger, tiredness, lack of sleep or perhaps simply an inability to express or communicate their needs? For example, if you know that your toddler/kid is going to flare up or throw a tantrum after switching off his/her favourite TV program, then pre-empt him/her about 10 minutes before that. Give your toddler/kid another reminder 2-3 minutes before you switch off the TV. Young children basically do not like sudden changes or to be caught by suprise.
  


• 2. Distraction : If you sense that your toddler/kid is about to throw or has started a tantrum, try distracting him/her. "Shall we go to the pet shop to see Elmo's goldfish, Dorothy?", " Shall we play hide-and-seek now?, "Do you want to eat your favourite yogurt now?". The trick here is to find something else that will catch the toddler/kid's attention and led him/her to another action instead of letting the toddler/kid focused on his emotions.



• 3. Ignore it : If all else fails, then simply ignore the tantrums. Do not attempt to shout or argue back (most parents under stress tend to have this reaction, it is important to keep your cool or control your rage at this moment) with your emotionally charged toddler or kid. That will make the tantrums worse. Sensing that you are not giving him/her any attention on his tantrums, the toddler/kid would eventually "cool down".

These three tried-and-tested ways or methods of managing tantrums work even pretty well with twins. Try it and share your experience with me.

Recommended book for managing tantrum if you need one :

The Twins' Curiosity about Pets

Recently, my neighbour bought a hamster, probably for their two schooling kids as a pet or maybe for some auspicious reason in the year of the rat (Chinese calendar year).

They happened to put the hamster outside their house and next to the shoe rack. So my twins, Asher and Gwyneth, discovered this little cutie thing inside a big "cage" and ignited their curiosity. Actually, even the mommy finds it too "irresistable" not to look at what the hamster was doing.

The little hamster is so smart and cute - it saw my twins and kept staring back at them. Then it struggled to stand up for while before crawling up the "stairs" of the cage and sniffed for attention. (As in the picture) My twins "squealed" for delight and were obviously thrilled by this action of the hamster.

As we couldn't bring the little cutie out to play, it "sadly" slided down and went back to hide in the "bushes" and slipped for a nap.

Oh, when the twins are sick!

What a rat year this is! On the first day of Chinese New Year, Asher was down with fever and vomiting, and we knew that our house visiting is going to end on that day.

He was running stubbornly high fever, despite continuous 3 hourly alternate doses of paracetamol and Ibuprofen (an NSAID). So on the third day of Chinese New Year, when one of the clinics are opened, we quickly brought him to see a paediatrician. At certain time, Asher was running about 39 - 40 deg C fever, it was terrible for us and him. The paediatrician said he caught Influenza ("the potent flu") where some of the symptoms are fever, vomiting, diahorrea, muscles ache, lethagy, running nose and cough. Asher got all of these symptoms with mild vomiting and diahorrea.

The Dr said that the fever is going to run for around 5-6 days before everything settled. I was thinking there goes my sleep again. I am usually more "afraid" of Asher falling sick because he has allergic rhinitis and when he is sick, his blocked nose will "bug" him even more for the whole night. Basically, I lose sleep together with him as he will keep calling me every half hourly to help him.

This Influenza fever that Asher caught this time was rather "fierce", it just refused to come down for 5 days and was hovering around 38 deg C even after medication. We had even given him "Ling Yang water" to cool the fever and I think that sort of help him a little. On the 6th day, he started to feel better and was more "alive", but by then he had lost some weight.

When everything looked "rosier" for the next few days, Gwyneth started the next round of fever though milder than Asher. And Gwyneth had a shorter road of recovery as she probably only caught "secondary influenza" from her brother. By then, the mommy is the third victim who caught the flu bug!

Twins' Chinese New Year Celebration

It is the fourth year that the twins are celebrating their Chinese New Year(CNY). But this year, at nearly three and a half years old, is supposingly the year where they began to be more aware and "conscious" of the real happenings around them.

It was quite a good start, with their pre-school teaching them some CNY songs, and the twins were singing days long before the first day ("Cu Yi") of CNY. On CNY eve, we had reunion dinner with the twins' paternal grandparents and their 3 uncles plus families. They both receive the first CNY red packets ("Ang Pow") from their grandfather during the dinner.

After reunion dinner, we went to pray at the Waterloo Street's Kwan Yin Temple, near my parents' place. (See Pic) Later the twins visited my parents with whom they also met their uncle and auntie for a sort of second semi-reunion dinner. *smile*

The twins were delighted, partly because they could go to different places, and also because this year they were able to play behind a Volkswagen van we borrowed from their eldest uncle("Da Bo").

Should young kids watch TV?

I guess the reply would usually be,"why not?". But some parents were cautious on this, especially for toddlers below 2 years old. Perhaps due to some reports by experts saying that young toddlers expose to TV at an earlier age could threaten their attention span. Some recommended that only toddlers after 2 years old be allowed to watch TV and that parents should also limit the time spent on TV for only an hour per day.

Actually I have also been limiting the twins' time spent on TV for an hour a day. But since 8 months old, I had allowed the twins to watch educational video for the most half an hour daily. Sometimes, mommy just need to take a break, so the TV comes in handy in this case, and particularly for taking care of twins. Nevertheless, being selective on TV programmes or videos is good, as you keep a watch on what's the kids are "receiving on air".

TV is such a powerful tool that the kids easily learn or pick up what's shown on it. A good example is the recent MOCCA "sexy man" ads,"the kitchen is over there, the toilet is over there.......". The twins laughed each time the "sexy man" appeared and would follow exactly his action and words. Hmmm.....that's the power of TV advertising!

So what have the twins been watching? Not too long ago, we discovered a recommended programme - "The Little Einsteins".

Initially, we thought it is some kids scientific cartoon, but it turned out to be a programme on classical music and general knowledge.

In fact, I use it as a beginner classical music lesson for the twins. The twins could now hum a few classical pieces like Beethoven's Ode to Joy, Dvorak's New World Symphony No.9, Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker Suite, Mozart's Symphony No.40 in G, etc. I consider this as a "breakthrough" kids cartoon which had such a terrific impact on them!

Weekend Outings

During weekend, we usually bring the twins to certain places that they will enjoy, mainly places where they could play and splash with water.

Swimming pool, a few shopping centres like Vivocity and Millenia Walk(in picture) where there are real shallow water pool to let the kids have some fun.

Sometimes doing something different provide new stimulation for the twins. And just like any kids or adults, they always love new places and things.

The twins' friends call me Mommy!

Everytime I went to the childcare centre, either to send or bring the twins home, their group of friends will all crowd around me and start talking to me.

They will begin calling me,"Mommy, mommy,....... I have this or that at home" or sort of complaining to me,"Mommy, mommy, Asher and Gwyneth used the crayons to draw on my T-shirt.....". One or two of them will even piggy back on me when I happened to squat down. It is kinda of interesting because their friends simply do not call the other parents the same. Once a grandparent even asked her granddaughter,"Is she your mommy, why did you call her mommy?".

Actually, I do not have a clear reason or idea why the twins' friends called me Mommy. Perhaps in the initial period when helping the twins to settle in the childcare centre, some of their friends got familiar with me when I went with them to a few excursion trips? Or maybe I speak in the kids' lingo and seems to be always listening to them? Nevertheless, it is a good feeling and you suddenly feel as if you have a bunch of kids "idolising" you. *wink*

Gwyneth and Asher are aware of this and sometimes they will protest to their friends,"She is not your mommy! She is my mommy!". And both will start pulling me away from them. *smile* What a silly fun!

Amazed by the twins' dialogue

The twins got a mild flu infection yesterday. And when they woke up early this morning, the first thing that Gwyneth said,"Mommy, I have a flu, so I don't need to go to school today........Di di (her brother), you'll go to school alone today."

Asher retorted by saying,"No....I am also sick, so I don't need to go to school too!". I was a little intrigued when I heard this dialogue. This two young kids actually knew that the "outcome" of being sick was that they could rest at home. And they were thrilled!

Have they not settled in the childcare centre and enjoyed their friends' company? I wondered. Or they just simply love the freedom they have at home of not following a time-table? Maybe I would have the answer much later?

Touched by the twin beautiful soul

The twins woke up today and realised that their daddy is still sleeping at home. Gwyneth asked curiously why was the daddy still at home and wanted to wake him up. I stopped her and told her that the daddy is sick and needed some rest. She asked politely if she could "pet" his dad's leg to show empathy in his dad's "condition". I declined and she did not pursue further.

And so the twins went to the childcare centre. As I could not bring them back home today, the daddy went to pick them up.

During dinner, my husband told me that he was caught by suprise when he went to pick Gwyneth in the centre. She had actually asked my husband,"Daddy, are you feeling better?". My husband said that he was so touched by this beautiful soul of her.

Baking Cupcakes with the Twins

Occasionally on a Saturday weekend, the twins and I will do some bakings. We just did one baking session yesterday - making cupcakes. Kids love cup cakes and they are fun to make.

Ingredients (make 12)

1. 120g butter, softened


2. 120g sugar


3. 1 tsp vanilla essence]


4. 3 eggs


5. 180g flour


6. 1 tsp taking powder


7. 12 cup cake papers

Method

Cream butter and sugar until pale, light and fluffy. Beat in vanilla essence. Add eggs one at time. Fold in sifted flour and baking powder. Fill cupcake papers or tray 1/2 ful with the mixture and bake at 180 deg C for 10-15 mins until the cakes spring back when touched.

The twins love the process of baking. Off course as young kids, they are there for some fun and "messing around" at times. But most importanly, baking with kids is a good time for bonding and you can also see the satisfaction of the kids when they ate their own "production".

4 Useful Tips to Get Your Child to Read!

My twins love to read.
Start Young : Thanks mainly to their daddy who had been reading voraciously since they were 8 months in my tummy. *wink*

Find a specific time daily : We would borrow or buy either infant or toddlers books and read to them daily in a specific hour, usually before bedtime. It has became a routine. Such that if we would consider a miss session on that night, the twins would throw tantrums (a justified one) and refused to go to bed.

Previously, one of their favourite English child author is Eric Carle. Recently, Dr Seuss and Jane Simmons' books are on the hit lists. Particularly Dr Seuss's "Hop on Pop" - the words just rythm, good illustration & it's funny; Jane Simmons's "Daisy" and "Ebb & Flo" series. For chinese books, they seems to prefer this "Xiao Tai Yang" series.

Find interesting books : Usually a book with clear good description, big and nice drawings and most importantly, a captivating story is what attracts them to sit through the reading session. And they would want to read that particularly book over and over again, until you had to put a white flag in front of the twins.

Be consistent : Some parents asked us how did we manage to read to them so consistenly and in fact, daily without fail? We do feel tired at times but we force ourselves to read to them, whether it's a 30 mins session or just a 10 mins session.

The benefits are tremendous - their vocabs are 'richer' and you open them up to the world of wonderful things. You will be amazed the next time when they started to describe vividly an action, event or object using certain adjectives that they had just read in the books. So start reading to your infant, toddlers or kids now!

*If you are an Amazon shopper, please support me by purchasing through the links. Thank you.
*Note : All books recommended here are read by my children and found worthwhile recommending

Related post : What's so funny about Dr Seuss's books?

The twins excursion to Chinatown

The twins had an excursion with the school to Chinatown today. It is the first time that I am not tagging along since they joined the childcare centre last June. Previously, I followed the twins for a few excursion as they were still settling in the new envirnoment. And the way the twins, especially Asher, waved good-bye to me from the bus today made me felt so proud of them. I think they had truly grown mentally besides physically since joining the school.

But I "trail" them at Chinatown for a very short while, just to keep my promise to the twins that I shall meet them at Chinatown if they are well-behaved.

As Chinese New Year is approaching, the streets are decorated with the festive decors and new year's goods 'sprung' in all shops along a few streets. The twins are a little fascinated with the Chinese new year's goodies , particularly the Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse decors (year of rat) and the sweets in beautiful wrappers.

However, the weather today is rather hot and humid, which made the twins and their classmates a little restless.

The twins' curiosity about Insects

"Hey, an insect, mummy......an insect!", the twins shouted. They had just spotted a bee which somehow flew and "stuck" outside a window panel.

They are often very amazed and curious about this group of animal kingdom. Perhaps they had seen the daddy catching flies, bees, lizards etc. Then "shaking and dancing" the "cong cong" (insects) before he lets them had a free fall from the window.

Anyway, this silly bee had really been "helpful". At least the twins got a chance to see a close up view of the eyes, body, wings and other parts of the bee, which they would otherwise not get to see at all.

Can you avoid tantrums?

After reading books on managing tantrums in toddlers and kids, coupled with some experience, I thought that tantrums for my twins could be minimised. But today, I learn that some tantrums are rather difficult to avoid.

Asher thrown his tantrums over a 'minor' incident after he came back from the childcare centre. I immediately knew that he did not nap well in the centre and will continue with the tantrums until he sleeps. That is the issue here. If you send your kids to a childcare centre, you could not have control over the causes of the tantrums, which is lack of sleep here for Asher.

So what should you do then if you could not "remove" the cause or causes of the tantrums? Distraction? Yeah, work most times but for a short time frame. So got to keep your cool till the kid settles his 'mood'. But most times, it is easier said than done, and I just lose some of my cool earlier.

Separation Anxiety - Are twins alike?

This morning when I brought the twins to preschool, their new classmate of two weeks, Rannon, was crying out loud for Ms Michelle, their form class teacher. He refused to go to his class and insisted on waiting near the door for her. Rannon reminded me of Asher when he just joined 6 months ago, but Asher merely had tears in his eyes and was chokingly telling me that he wanted Ms Lily, then form teacher. Toddlers or young kids tend to look for familiar faces when separated from parents.

Actually, Asher occasionly still tears when waving goodbye to me. He is such a "sentimental" boy, or you would rather call "emotional' like what his teachers did. I would consider him having some forms of mild but prolong separation anxiety.

Often, Asher needs a lot of assurance and encouragement before going to school. Thereafter, he will be totally immersed in the school environment and came back happily. It is a much better scene compared to the initial period where he would cry almost every night before he sleep; saying that he did not want to go to school because a certain teacher scolded him. After verification with the teachers, it happened that he misunderstood the teachers' loud voice as a form of scolding.

On the other hand, his twin, Gwyneth is more at ease with herself in school. The only times when she had shown some fears or affected was when her brother's crying was more pronounced in the initial joining period.

Develop Multiple Intelligence through Nature Discovery

Since Asher and Gwyneth started to walk, we often brought them to the gardens near our flat for some "educational fun" walk. We bought two toy-like magnifying glass and let them do some "discovery". They watched the ants crawl in line, the birds & butterflies flying around the trees and discovered the different type of leaves and flowers in amazement.

Even till today, as we walked to their childcare centre nearby, we will often do "snailies watch" and "mimosa teasing".

There are simply lot of snails around that garden near the centre, particularly after some morning rain or drizzling. Asher and Gwyneth would then love spotting snails crawling and searching for foods around the muddy sands or wet floors. We would label the snails -"Ah gong", "Ah ma", "daddy", "mummy" , "Jie Jie"(older sister), "Di Di"(younger brother) or baby snails, depending on their sizes. BTW, the "Ah gong" and "Ah ma" snails are really huge, even bigger than a golf ball. Sometimes, the twins would also spot the snails "doing their big business" and once even saw a couple snails mating!

Being young kids, they also love to 'disturb" and "tease" the mimosa, knowing that they will be "shy" and "close up" after that. This simple reaction of the mimosa is quite a small thrill for the twins.

Acutally we did not intentionally want to teach them anything in specific. We only wanted them to appreciate the beauty of nature. And it seems that the kids have since developed a liking for the flora and fauna.

Childcare Centre or Maids?

Recently one lady forumer in a forum I actively engaged, was asking if she should send her three kids -age 4, 2 and 1 respectively, in a childcare centre or employed a maid to look after them? She plans to go back to work and has a mother-in-law who sometimes comes to help her look after the kids.

To some people, this is not such a difficult situation - just employed a maid and asked the mother-in-law to supervise in the house; in fact, this is a cheaper arrangement than sending them to a childcare centre. Besides, the kids theoretically could be better taken care of in a home environment.

But not all parents have the luxury of a mother-in-law or mother who could help in this manner. Nowadays, some "modern" mother-in-laws or mothers might not even want to look after the grandchildren full time. So some forumers were sharing their experience on just having a maid at home with their kid or kids with a CCTV installed to monitor the maid. They said that so far the maid, who knew the existence of the camera, was taking good care of the kids. Others, like me, would never trust a maid to be alone at home with the young kids unless they are of schooling age.

Just a few days ago, the Straits Times (ST), reported that a maid was ruled not guilty or negligent of an infant death. http://www.straitstimes.com/Latest%2BNews/Courts%2Band%2BCrime/STIStory_194765.html?vgnmr=1
STOMP also have a series of readers' reports on maids : http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/singaporeseen/searchArticleList.do
After reading all these news, most people would roughly know what are the issues faced employing a maid.

The key is that most people entrust their maids with too much responsibilites (not chores), they expect their maids to be professional nanny to the children. Can they? Will they? They are merely in the proper term known as "Foreign domestic helpers". If they are just a helper, how can you blame them when things happened to your children? Why not blame yourself for completely trusting the maids to take care of the children "swee swee"? Certainly, maids are sometimes negligent, just like any human beings, so be the main caregiver to the children, not the maids. In fact, I tried very hard myself, to remember that they are just helpers when handling my maid.

Then, looks like the childcare centre is the only option for people with no parental support? Certainly an option. However, I do not recommend sending infants to infant care centre or toddlers below 2 years old to childcare centre. I think I am quite a "difficult to please" mother in this issue. Mokkie, my girlfriend, would tell you otherwise. *smile* I often mention her because she seems to be doing things quite differently from me, in comparison among my 3 buddy girlfriends, Ning and Koon.

Nevertheless, in the choice of maids or childcare centres or other arrangements, there are bound to be trade-offs in any option.

Enrichment Classes - To send or not to send?

We are those parents who believe in sending the children to enrichment classes for learning and experience. We think that these enrichment classes offer external stimuli which the children may not experience at home.

On the other hand, there are parents like one of my girlfriend, Mokkie, who believe that the childcare centre environment will provide sufficient stimuli and learnings in their appropriate age, and it is not necessary to enrol them in additional classes. She is of the view point that if these children learned far ahead of their age, they may lose interest in learnings later on. Certainly a valid consideration. However, so far the twins have positive experience in the enrichment learnings.

Since 18 months old, we sent them to Kindermusik at Tanglin Mall for "Our Time"(for 18mths-3 years old) music lessons. In the 45 minutes lessons, the teacher will sing or play the CD music and used various musical instruments to engage the toddlers, who were accompanied by one parent. The toddlers also learn some nursery rhymes, opposite words like "high vs low", "up vs down" , action words like "stop", "fly", "row" etc, all through the music. There were lots of actions and you would not be bothered that your toddlers will get bored during the lessons. In fact, normally at the end of the each lesson, the teacher will read a story, usually from famous child author like Eric Carle. The music used is very engaging and my twins love them till today. They could even recalled the dance actions of each song and "replayed" them at home.

The twins thoroughly enjoyed the course and looked forward to the weekly lessons even though they were initially shy, a litle fearful of the group setting and merely passive in their actions. I still remember Asher cried for the first two lessons because he was afraid of the "noise" (our house is a quiet resort); not anymore since.

The Kindermusik "Our Time" course is suppose to spread through 4 semisters (3 months for each semisters). But after 6 months, we think that the stimulation had stagnanted and decided to switch to another slightly more "academic" course at Growing Up Gifted in United Square. We could have stayed in both courses together, but that would be too taxing in monetary terms, the weekend time and for the twins, especially when you enrolling two children at a time.

At Growing Up Gifted(GUG) weekly, one and a half hours, toddlers' programme (18 months - 3 years old), it consists of

• 30 minutes of"project time" - art work of various form, edible work using food, some science project for older todds;
• 30 minutes of "Zoo-phonics" - teaching of alphabets phonics using animals, introducing "zoo bag"(consists of things beginning with the letter of the day) and the 3-letter word of the day;
• 20 minutes of other rotational activites like singing, story book telling etc.

My twins totally love the programme, particularly the project work, you could clearly see their eyes brighten up each time. They also like the "Zoo-phonics" time but during the singing session, they would usually stand aside and watch despite some encouragment to participate. Perhaps they were too shy at that time, so we did not really "push" them during that time.

I think that the GUG one and a half hour programme is actually a little long for younger toddlers, particularly under 2 years old, as the children are required to sit down most of the time. Some of their classmates who were under 2 years old were merely running around the classes; in fact, towards the end of the class, the twins were mostly a little restless too, even though they were more well-behaved.

Nevertheless, some of the things that they have learned in GUG are "more advanced" than the peers and my twins still talked about their GUG schools till today. They have since stopped the GUG lessons last September after they were enrolled in the Childcare centre.

There are actually many enrichment classes for pre-schoolers that we have "researched" and the programmes are also quite interesting eg. Shichida Brain stimulation, Julia Gabriel, Gymboree, The Little Gym, Lorna Whiston etc. We have chosen those that best fit our twins and budget.

Kindermusik : http://www.kindermusik.com.sg/
Growing Up Gifted : http://www.gugifted.com/
Shichida : http://www.shichidamethod.com/
Julia Gabriel :http://www.juliagabriel.com/
Lorna Whiston: http://www.lornawhiston.com/
Gymboree : http://www.gymboree.com/
The Little Gym : http://www.thelittlegym.com.sg/

Twins - Are they the same or different?

A lot of people asked me,"Since Asher and Gwyneth are twins, do they have the same liking or different?" I suppose the other parents of twins would most probably have smiliar answer - besides having the same stimulation and environment, they are quite different in nature, perhaps even more for opposite sex twins.

Their new teacher this year in the Childcare centre, Teacher Michelle, told me that she observed that Asher is able to grasp concepts and learn faster than Gwyneth. She said Gwyn tends to get distracted but would still learn similiar things slightly later than Asher. In fact, that is what we observed at home since infancy.

Asher would speak and learn words earlier, have an almost "once a glance" memory and better attention span. Gwyn, on the other hand, is good with her observation skills and tends to notice things that we (including her brother) would not normally pick up. Both have likings for different colours - Ash loves orange and blue, Gwy loves pink and green; different taste buds - almost contrasting that if I have to cook different food each time, I would have lot of things to prepare. Asher, as a boy, is also more aggressive and loud in nature; whereas Gwyneth is more quiet and keeps her temperament a little better than her brother.

They have some silimiarities, that is both loves to read and sing. Perhaps it may be due to the same stimuli environment, we read and sing to them a lot since they were babies.

I believe twins of the same sex would generally be different in nature too. That is what I observed in the Childcare centre, where coincidentally, they have another two sets of twins - twins boys in N1 and fracternal twin girls in K1. And by the way, Ash and Gwy's teacher this year, Ms Michelle is also one of the other fracternal twins girls! What a twins' centre!

Childcare Centre - Settling In (Part 2)

Today is the first day of school in the week and Asher began to grumble, "I don't want to go to school". So far he had shown contrasting feelings before he went to school and when he came back from school for the past 6 months. I do not know when he will stop to have these mixed feelings; perhaps never, like some kids. And I sometimes wonder if he had truly settled in.

For Gwyneth, she had rarely displayed these emotions when school begins in the week. But something interesting happened when she started school 6 months ago - she stopped eating bread, whether at home or in the childcare centre, except plain croissant. It's a little kind of headache for a mummy trying to settle a child in a childcare centre. You started to worry if she is going to eat well in school!

She had always been in the 20th percentile for her weight and being a picky eater here does not help. Thankfully she still eats her staple food for lunch - rice, noodles, but when it comes to the breakfast and tea-break, where the school served mostly bread related food, she would rather starve than eat! Her teachers had been helping to feed her, but she simply refused to open her mouth for the food she doesn't like.

To solve this issue for Gwyn, I rewarded her with big colourful stickers whenever she eats her breakfast or tea-break. It seems to work at times but not all the times, so I tried to make some breakfast for her before she goes to school. Boiled or scrambled eggs, cereals, oatmeal, croissants, muffins, pandan cake - these are the "countable" breakfast that she would eat.

At least for now, I knew that in the morning till her tea-break time, she would not starve, and I suppose that's good enough for her at the moment.

School Project - My Hobby!

Gwyneth and Asher were asked by the school to do a project with the parents on "My Hobby". The theme for this begining term is "On Myself", hence the teachers wanted them to identify their hobbies and speak about them in front of their classmates.

We would help to take a picture of the child engaged in the hobby and print it on a A4 paper with some captions. Asher's favourite activity is reading and Gwyneth favourite activity is singing. In anyway, both of them actually enjoyed these two activities equally.

Child Care Centre - Settling In (Part1)

Earlier when I went to pick Asher and Gwyneth home from the child care centre, I happened to find Asher in the toilet passing urine by himself. Before I could help him, he signaled to me that he wished to do it by himself. It is a scene quite totally different when he first joined the child care centre 6 months ago.

At that time, there was fear written all over his face even though I told him that his sister will be together with him. It was the first time that the twins were not accompanied by the daddy and mummy, though both of them had been in enrichment classes before. My hushand and I tried pyschologically preparing Ash & Gwyn for school life by reading related books and bringing them to the child care centre a few times to familiarise with the environment. Despite all these efforts, Asher in particular, was not receptive to the idea of "school". All he knew was that it is a place where he would not see his parents around him.

I accompanied the twins on their first two days in the centre; they were fine. But on the third "fateful" day when I had to leave the centre, they were both crying uncontrollably. It was heart wrenching for me as I stood outside the centre for about 10-15 minutes and the cries from both of them doesn't seem to fade off. As I walked back home, I realised that there was tears from my eyes. That was when I also discovered that I am equally attached to them as they are to me.

The crying went on for about a week and was getting shorter each time, according to the teachers. And perhaps you could imagine the joyful expression on their face when I went to bring them home. They were simply "sprinting" towards you!

Potty Training : Day and Night

Gwyn woke up last night about 11.30pm to pass urine. It has been a year since she was off the diaper for the night. This daughter of mine is particularly sensible in the area of cleaniness.

In fact, since 8 months old, when I started letting them sat on the potty, she had since then rarely pass motion on her diaper. She would give me a signal on her face expression, and wait till I let her sat on the potty before she did her business. After 20 months old, Gwyn was already potty trained for the day. Lucky me? Oh yes, I wouldn't deny that.

Asher took a longer time, but I was not particularly concerned. The famous child expert, author, Dr Miriam Stoppard actually recommended that we start potty training when the child is about three years old. She explained that by this time, the bladder is more matured and makes potty training easier for the parents; and for the night, she recommended that the child only be trained by 5 or 6 years old. So I have a few lead years for Asher.

Though I still followed the Asian tradition of early potty training since 18 months old, Asher was only completely off his diaper for the day slightly after 2 years old by his own accord, perhaps seeing his sister doing so. He is then off the diaper at night recently in December 2007, slightly after 3 years old. It took me by suprise when he suddenly woke up in the middle of one night and said that he wanted to take off his diaper to pass urine.

The potty training for the twins is rather "smooth" for me. But I believe that generally the girls can be trained earlier - my girlfriend, Mokkie's daughter was day and night trained by 18 months old! On the other hand, my sister, Xian's son was only night trained by 4 years old.

Whatever it is in the timeframe chosen, the initial period always required the parents to be more patience in getting the child's cooperation.

Throwing Tantrums!

Asher had earlier thrown his tantrums again. This few days he had been exhibiting this behaviour and I thought perhaps he had reached another milestones - exerting his preference, and telling us that,"hey, I have my views too.".

Many of us have heard of the "terrible twos", which one of my buddy girlfriend, Mokkie, had experience with her now 5 years old girl. At that time, when I heard her experience, I quickly went to get a few books on parenting toddlers and managing tantrums, hoping to learn something to tackle "the tantrums". I was a little 'desperate' since I have two and that would mean "doubling the tantrums". If Ash and Gwy are both going to throw tantrums at the same time, I am adamant that I will flared up and go crazy.

I found a rather useful book - "The emotional life of a toddler", which trys to explain the rational and reasons behind certain tantrums, how to tackle them if it happens. Interestingly, after reading the book, I was more aware of their emotions and began to understand what was on their mind. So during the twins' late toddlers years (2-3 years old), things were rather "peaceful".

But kid's flaring tantrum is always a time to practise your tolerability and train your patience!

Get the book :

Child-Care Centre - When to send? Which?

My twins are now in a child-care centre near our place, just about 5-10 mins walk. They have been there since June 2007 when they are about two and a half years old. It was not an easy task initially for us to find our ideal childcare. And we are also contemplating on which age to send them.

We went "hunting" for a child-care centre since they were about 16 months old, two months before the minimum required age for entry. As we have sort of decided that the child-care centre should be near our home, we started visiting those whom we think are nearer to our needs and requirments.

There were some interesting finds :
1. The classifications - Toddlers(18mths - 2 yrs), N1 (2-3 yrs old), N2(3-4 yrs old) , K1(4-5 yrs old), K2 (5-6 yrs old)
2. The Approach/focus - montessori, multiple intellgences, graduates teachers etc
3. "Hidden fees" - Registration, Insurance coverage, 1-mth deposit, uniform, mattress, mattress cover.

The pros we saw : kids are more independent, tends to speak earlier, social interaction.
The cons we saw : Less than ideal teachers, curriculum; toddlers group looked rather helpless

We ended up having one conclusion - the child-care centre is a place with some form of custodian care when you are at work, regardless how premier they claimed. To quote my husband bluntly,"It's a dumping ground".

After seeing how helpless the toddlers group are, we decided that the more ideal age will be 2 years old or above when they are able to convey their basic needs to the adults. And as to which centre - it's harder to decide, but we finally opted for one which placed more positive parent-teacher relationship and teachers' development, which is the current child-care centre that the twins are at.

So far so good, we are satisfied, though not the most ideal and I bet there'll never be.

Feeling bliss with the twins!

I want to remember this momemt - feeling bliss with my lovely twins around me!

I have never felt this kind of internal peace and bliss during my twenties. Now perhaps with the kids, everything I did became more purposeful. In fact, when my husband and I knew we were having twins, and further more a boy & a girl, we felt elated and really fortunate. I mean, having twins is already a bonus, this perfect combination is like striking lottery - TOTO ok!

So in fact we name them, Asher and Gwyneth, meaning "being blessed and fortunate".

This feeling of blissfulness have reached its most harmonious stage in particular this few months, after their 3 years old birthday. They are interacting with you, truly interacting, for example, Gwy said,".....mummy, if this toy is spoilt, you'll buy a new one for me ok?". "Mummy has no money to buy a new one, so.......", I replied. But Gwy said,"...mummy, then why your wallet has money?....". hmmm......*laugh*

It's that kind of defining moments that made your day!

Toddlers moving towards Indpendence

To a mummy, it's one of those days that you wouldn't want to miss - when your young kid reaches a specific milestones. You feel warm-hearted, glad that your child had finally reached this significant stage.

Gwyneth, the older twin by 8 mins, told me proudly that she could wear the T-shirt by herself after she came back from the child-care centre. Her teacher re-confirmed that. I asked Gwy to show me and she did it confidently. It was a proud moment.

Gwy has always been faster in her pyscho-motor skills than her brother, Asher, though they're twins. Asher, however, rules in communication and memory skills.

Long Awaited blog - finally it happened!

This is a delayed blog page which should have been set up 3 years ago. I've wanted eagerly to blog about my lovely twins, Gwyneth & Asher, since they're born on 12 Oct 2004 at 11.03pm and 11.11pm respectively.

It is the most beautiful thing that happened in my life. But lousy excuses had gotten all over me and simply leaving this totally undone. Oh what have you missed? Great deal!!! But all is not lost, I'd still want to capture the memory of my two lovely kids and some of the beautiful things that happened in my life. And I don't think that it's too late - better be late than never har?