3 Most Effective Ways of Managing Tantrums for Busy Parents

From experience and reading books on managing tantrums, I find that the 3 most effective ways or methods of managing tantrums are as follows:

• 1. Prevent or avoid it : The best way to manage tantrums is actually to prevent tantrums from happening. The key is to find out the cause or causes of your toddler/kid's tantrum. What are the factors triggering the tantrum? Is it hunger, tiredness, lack of sleep or perhaps simply an inability to express or communicate their needs? For example, if you know that your toddler/kid is going to flare up or throw a tantrum after switching off his/her favourite TV program, then pre-empt him/her about 10 minutes before that. Give your toddler/kid another reminder 2-3 minutes before you switch off the TV. Young children basically do not like sudden changes or to be caught by suprise.
  


• 2. Distraction : If you sense that your toddler/kid is about to throw or has started a tantrum, try distracting him/her. "Shall we go to the pet shop to see Elmo's goldfish, Dorothy?", " Shall we play hide-and-seek now?, "Do you want to eat your favourite yogurt now?". The trick here is to find something else that will catch the toddler/kid's attention and led him/her to another action instead of letting the toddler/kid focused on his emotions.



• 3. Ignore it : If all else fails, then simply ignore the tantrums. Do not attempt to shout or argue back (most parents under stress tend to have this reaction, it is important to keep your cool or control your rage at this moment) with your emotionally charged toddler or kid. That will make the tantrums worse. Sensing that you are not giving him/her any attention on his tantrums, the toddler/kid would eventually "cool down".

These three tried-and-tested ways or methods of managing tantrums work even pretty well with twins. Try it and share your experience with me.

Recommended book for managing tantrum if you need one :

Can you avoid tantrums?

After reading books on managing tantrums in toddlers and kids, coupled with some experience, I thought that tantrums for my twins could be minimised. But today, I learn that some tantrums are rather difficult to avoid.

Asher thrown his tantrums over a 'minor' incident after he came back from the childcare centre. I immediately knew that he did not nap well in the centre and will continue with the tantrums until he sleeps. That is the issue here. If you send your kids to a childcare centre, you could not have control over the causes of the tantrums, which is lack of sleep here for Asher.

So what should you do then if you could not "remove" the cause or causes of the tantrums? Distraction? Yeah, work most times but for a short time frame. So got to keep your cool till the kid settles his 'mood'. But most times, it is easier said than done, and I just lose some of my cool earlier.

Throwing Tantrums!

Asher had earlier thrown his tantrums again. This few days he had been exhibiting this behaviour and I thought perhaps he had reached another milestones - exerting his preference, and telling us that,"hey, I have my views too.".

Many of us have heard of the "terrible twos", which one of my buddy girlfriend, Mokkie, had experience with her now 5 years old girl. At that time, when I heard her experience, I quickly went to get a few books on parenting toddlers and managing tantrums, hoping to learn something to tackle "the tantrums". I was a little 'desperate' since I have two and that would mean "doubling the tantrums". If Ash and Gwy are both going to throw tantrums at the same time, I am adamant that I will flared up and go crazy.

I found a rather useful book - "The emotional life of a toddler", which trys to explain the rational and reasons behind certain tantrums, how to tackle them if it happens. Interestingly, after reading the book, I was more aware of their emotions and began to understand what was on their mind. So during the twins' late toddlers years (2-3 years old), things were rather "peaceful".

But kid's flaring tantrum is always a time to practise your tolerability and train your patience!

Get the book :